Positive for Covid19

This is the reason why I haven’t been posting so much during this lock-down. Before you read please keep in mind that everyone who gets this virus may experience something different. Thank you.

How does it feel finding out that you have covid19?

Anxiety, depression, and uncertainty of not knowing if you will be making it the next day. It feels as if everyone and everything is against you, it feels like you are not from this world, and at times it feels that getting this virus is in fact your fault. People either treat you differently or they look at you weird with fear that you might give it to them. It feels as if everything you have fought for has slipped through the cracks without not knowing if you will get a second chance to remake everything , and get a second chance to make your dreams come true. You get scared for other people that surrounded you while you had this virus, and praying so that they aren’t positive. You start to think about the good old days that you were able to hug your mom, dad, siblings, and a few other important people in your life. You feel as if you wished you had the power to turn back the time, and go back to the year where you thought you wanted the time to pass by quick. Despite of all of this, in a way it strengths your faith because when you feel alone you know that at least someone is always with you. You look at life way different and the purpose of everything that this earth has to offer. In a way, you feel alone but your perspective grows to the next dimension. Seeing people taking this as a joke, looking at how humans can not follow simple directions, and seeing how so many travel without not caring of the spread of this virus is heartbreaking….it makes you angry. When you get the news that you are positive you start to see your life flash before your eyes, you see your memories being more vivid than before, and the first people that you start thinking of are your parents. When I got the news of being detected, I couldn’t help to think on all of my dreams being either on pause or done. My husband suffers from asthma and he was detected with this virus, so in other words I wouldn’t sleep due to checking up on him while praying to God to give him another day to be with me. All of this and more is exactly how you feel when you find out that you have covid19.

 
Symptoms?

While having so many thoughts that invade your mind, it feels as if you were dehydrated for a long time. It feels as if you were carrying a big sack of potatoes while not having nothing to drink for weeks. You feel tired to the point that you feel that you just want to be in bed 24/7, and having the worst body aches. This also brings out the worst headaches, and for some it causes not being able to breathe. Mild covid or not…it feels horrible…. it messes up with you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The fevers are the worst, having the chills, and being cold to the point that you think that nothing can warm you up. What happened to me? Well, the first day I had to crawl while crying to the bathroom because I couldn’t feel my body at all. I was dehydrated that I did not want to eat anything, and I just wanted to drink water. My eyes burned, I couldn’t feel my body, and worst of all I lost a lot of weight by the first week due to diarrhea which is another symptom that you get. There were days where I felt that either I couldn’t catch up with my breathing, or I just honestly wanted my body to stop fighting. However, seeing my husband beside me, and seeing my parents and sister through camera strengthened me to keep on going. I remember being lightheaded for no reason, wanting to throw up the food I ate, and putting up an act so my family wouldn’t get worried. I would say I was good, I am making it, and then hanging up bursting into tears because I knew that it wasn’t true. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a fever, and as I touched the arm of my husband I would start to pray so we can be better when the sun would come up again. For him? He had a cough and had to use his inhaler about 3 times or so. He was so strong for me so that I would kick my depression to the curve while he was low key scared, but wouldn’t tell me I would just see it in his eyes, and that was enough for me to confirm that he was indeed scared too. Please keep in mind that each person is different, and some might not even know that they have it.

 
Spiritually?

Where do I begin, being a person that worships the Lord I might say that the first few hours I started to doubt. I would think, ” I do everything to at least be half of the person you want me to be, but then again I get this?! WHY ME?!” There are no words to describe how angry I was, how disappointed I felt, and how unloved I was feeling at the moment. As the hours passed by, I kept thinking if there was actually a higher and magical power or if I was always worshiping something or someone that never existed. I couldn’t help but think of the pain that I felt, till for some odd reason I started thinking of the scripture of Job. That is when I thought, “Is this a test you want me to pass? seriously?” the moment that I thought of that, I started to remember all my kids that I work with at church. Each smile that passed through my mind was a fuel that gave me to keep believing in God through this tough time. I looked up in the news how other countries were doing, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw that different animals started to reappear. I started seeing the masterpiece that God created through my computer screen, I looked out the window to appreciate the wind, I saw the birds fly so freely in the air, and I captured the moment when it started to rain. I came to the conclusion that as humans we are always making a huge deal when its such a gloomy day, when it is too cold, and when it is raining or snowing. We really don’t look at it as a benefit that God sends down for us because if you think about it…it really does benefit us. The rain comes down so the vegetables/fruits can grow, it gives water to the animals that need it, the cold is a benefit for us so we can stay inside while the earth tries to breathe so we can live in a better place, the snow is something for us to admire because not a lot people have that amazing view, and waking up to a gloomy day is just a sign that God gave us to wake up to see his masterpiece once again. Other people do not have the gift of life like we do right now because as you are reading this there is someone out there taking their last breath. Out there at this very moment, is probably someone looking at their last day in this world, and others are trying to fight for their life so they are able to live like you do. Having covid19 made me see so many things that I used to take for granted, and I appreciated every breath I was taking as each hour passed by. I started praising God through this storm, and I still do! If it wasn’t for God I wouldn’t be a survivor of this deadly virus going around, and I know that he had mercy over my soul because I have a purpose in which his work through me is still not done. 

 
Who?

During the rough moments, you start to see who really matters in your life, and who is just there to watch when you fall so they can laugh about it. You examine people in a different form and you are ready to cut them off. I am so happy that I have the best friends a girl can ever ask for, a few family members that took the time to check up on me, and prayed over my life. If I could mention every single one of them who checked up on me the list wouldn’t end. If you are reading this and you reached out to me I just want to say from the bottom of my heart: Thank you. Thank you for being there when I needed support, for encouraging me, and for praying for my husband and I. We really do appreciate it and we have all of you in our prayers!

 

How do you get it?

There is a reason why we need to have social distancing and follow simple rules! If you are too close to someone else, if they cough or sneeze, by touching the surface and then touching any part of your face, and last but not least some people are carriers of the disease which they might not even know. Till this day I have no idea where I got it from because it is truly a mystery. I work in the medical field, so chances are maybe I talked to someone that looked healthy, maybe when I had to go grocery shopping, or while I was walking towards my car and probably someone had just finished sneezing or coughing in that area. I know for a fact that it wasn’t because of traveling because with this going on there is no way that I will book a flight during this time…its called using common sense. 

 
How to prevent it?

Use a mask, disinfect your home, put a bag on the passenger/driver seat (change it at the end of the week), disinfect your car, change your toothbrush every other week, take a shower as soon as you get home, put the clothes in the washer right when you take them off, eat vegetables/ fruits, stay away from caffeine, stay away from junk food, stay away from high salt/sugar, and use mask with gloves every time you go out. Try to drink a lot of water and if possible do warm gargles of salt before you start your day and before you go to sleep. If you have a strong immune system the virus will not be as bad in case you get infected. 

 
The recovery?
It is a slow one to the point of getting anxious because you just want to be good as soon as possible. However, at times I feel tired and yet there are other days where I am so full of energy. This stage is a hard one because at times it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is because you would want to go see your family that you haven’t seen in weeks, but you still need to be isolated in order to get better. For other people the recovery might be a different experience as well as the symptoms. 

 
Conclusion?

One thing that we can all agree on, only the ones that have gone through this and survived, is that….we made it. People might look at us and say, “Is it really that bad?” but what they don’t know is… that it is! The first week you are full of emotions and wondering if you will get worse the next day. The second week you are still in shock that you even had it because you think if you were really healthy to begin with. The third week is more just like the “meh” stage where you start to get anxious because you want to see your loved ones. The rest you start to get depression or you just feel out of place and the need of wanting to scream to the world. I want everyone to return to their normal life, but for right now we all need to be isolated. 

There are no words to describe on how much I want a hug from my parents, my sister, certain family members, and my friends. I have no idea how to explain the need that I have to be up on stage, and start singing to the Lord without stopping. I can’t describe the need that I have to scream to the world to follow the simple rules so WE CAN ALL have our normal life back. 

I wish there was a word to clear the pain away from my friends that are going through this, and especially canceling an important event in their life. If you are reading this and had plans to get married this year, have a baby shower, graduate, or you are positive for this virus or even lost someone from this please know that even if we do not talk as much…I AM PRAYING FOR YOU! 

The best advice I can give is to stay away from the media, stop watching the news, and start trusting in God. Let go and Let GOD! I will be sharing a few songs that has helped me so much throughout this time, and I would like for you to hear it too. If anything covid19 is just a giant that we need to face with confidence. WE GOT THIS YA’LL!!!! 2020 isn’t completely dead yet, and we have the chance to rescue it! 

If we all pray all I gotta say is…..

 

We are stronger together Stock Vectors, Royalty Free We are ...

If you have questions, concerns, going through depression, anxiety, or you just feel lonely please do not hesitate to send me a message. Stay tuned for the next post because I will be sharing what I have been doing through this pandemic! Changes in the way I mediate, songs that I have written, and new things that I have discovered in the kitchen! I will be posting a video up on YouTube too so if you haven’t done so already make sure you subscribe. Also, subscribe to my blog to stay up to date with everything that I will be sharing. 

Love ya’ll and God bless.

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Songs that helped and keep helping me through this time feel free to check them out.

It takes two to tango (part 2)

Welcome to the series “It takes two to tango” If you want to find out what I will be talking about today then keep on reading. Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog, follow me on social media, and subscribing to my Youtube channel! Now let’s get down with todays topic. 

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Oh the jealously in relationships can take a toll huh? Today I want to talk about how not trusting, and being jealous about every little thing can harm one another. Yes, I am starting out this post very brutally honest because a lot of people sometimes can’t tell that what they are doing is wrong. How so? Keep on reading, and if you find yourself in this situation I would say that the change happens now!

Manipulative, controlling, jealously, and not taking the time to put yourself in someone else’s shoes can make you seem self centered. I hate when girls are so freaking jealous that their boyfriend, fiancé, and heck husband need to have their “alone” time because all of a sudden they are “cheating”. NO HONEY! Just like every girl needs their alone time so do the guys! I am not being on anyones side, but I am literally putting myself in a different perspective here.

When it comes to girls, I can see a lot of guys doing the same crap, and that isn’t healthy at all. I am a strong supporter in which everyone needs their alone time, time with friends, and being alone with their family. You CAN have a friend of the opposite sex, and not have any sentimental relationship at all. Why is that? Sometimes having a good friend that respects you can come in like a blessing because you get to see a different perspective without assuming anything bad.

My husband and I have friends that we can trust, and even go out with. We have no problem in spending time alone, being with the family, or just go out and have fun in a good manner. Feel me on this one? no? Keep reading. Everyone NEEDS to recharge and have the feeling of missing your significant other so intensely that heck….not only does it spice things up, but also the bond gets stronger. It is okay to be to ask him/her about what is going on, but assuming things without talking ….that is bad.

I don’t support in going through messages, emails, texts, or even social media because at the end of the day the only person that is getting fooled is them. What I do support is having a communication that can be stronger day by day. Also, if your significant other came from an and relationship its important to start slow, and give them their time to get used to it. Actions speak louder than words so if you want them to change show them, act on it, but don’t say things that will harm them more than what they already are. 

Speaking from experience, I came from terrible relationships where this one guy cheated on me on two girls that had the same name (terrible), and to kill it even more someone else cheated on me with a girl that had the same name as the others. When I look back at it, I can’t help but think how stupid I was for getting mad at that…instead I should be thankful that stuff happened or else I wouldn’t be better than they are. (yes, I know what they are going through now, and its hilarious.) That’s karma baby. 

When I dated my husband, I remember I was starting to be a control freak because oh honey I was paranoid. However, his actions spoke louder and I will never forget a serious conversation we had that made me change my perspective about him. Boy let me tell you…what a conversation we had! I am blessed that I have someone that speaks the brutal truth, and that shows me how things should be. The same goes for me showing him things so he won’t act crazy on me. 

So what are my tips on this blog post? *ahem* Check it out:

Women:

  • Let your significant other have fun with his friends, and don’t blow up his phone. That will just show how immature you are, and instead send him one text asking how the day is going and to get back safe. THATS IT!
  • Don’t get into his social media because if he loves you he won’t do anything at all. Instead joke around with him about using fb, ig, sc, or whatever he has. 
  • If he is out with his family while you see his snaps from relatives having fun DO NOT get so worked up. That is his family and if y’all aren’t even married don’t even say that you should had been invited. The time will come when you will lol 
  • If a “close friend” is speaking bad about him to you put that so called friend in his or her place. Instead of hearing them, be truthful and in a nice way tell your partner what you have heard. Communication is key!
  • If your guy is out having his alone time, girl chill out and let him be! Sometimes he needs to be out to get a hair cut, have a spa day alone, go out the movies alone (especially if you hate the movie he wants to see), and let him eat out alone. The man needs to recharge, and that is the perfect time to let him see who you are. 
  • If your guy has a friend of the opposite sex, and has been there for him first than you do not get jealous. Why is that? If he met her first before you came alone then that means he has chances to be with her, but he picked you after meeting you. Does that make sense? Sometimes it’s good to have a GOOD FRIEND that can put him on check for you, or let him have a different perspective. 
  • Try not to text so much and instead call each other, or see each other often. Using texts can always have miscommunication on a lot of topics creating unwanted fights. 

Men: 

  • Let your girl breathe! Stop being so immature in hitting her up all the freaking time. If she tells you that she needs her alone time trust me…LET HER!
  • When she is out with her friends don’t text her so much because chances are that she is trying to catch up with her girls. 
  • Everyday tell her she looks hot even though she might be sick. One word can trigger a women’s brain, and that can be the fuel she needs to get things going throughout the day.
  • Support her every goal! If she wants to workout go with her, and be her main support. I know a lot of men that prefer their girl to be unhealthy, and even dress to the point of them not being attractive because “others” might get her. 
  • If she is out with her family, don’t call her so much because she is trying to enjoy quality time with her loved ones. If you aren’t invited that just means its not the right time, but you will soon get your chance. 
  • Don’l look at her social media but instead talk things out if you feel that something weird is going on.
  • Actions speak louder than words! Instead of sending her texts why don’t you just make something? Don’t spend so much money on things that won’t be so meaningful. If you think about her write her a poem, make something cute out of paper, or anything else you can possibly think of. Trust me us girls LOVE things that are handmade especially if we see that it came with the pure intention of making us feel loved, wanted, and respected. 

 

They say old love is the best love, and I couldn’t agree more! I feel like I was definitely born in the wrong time because text messages or Facebook posts are just wack. I love poems written down on paper, something hand made, or a small picnic out at the park with PB&J sandwiches which my husband did that for me one time ha! I feel like back in the day people knew how to maintain a relationship, and knew what the word respect meant. 

Always remember to keep the love alive, the bedroom spiced up, and the bond stronger than yesterday. Never underestimate the power of communication, handwork, and actions because those are a total win. Well, this is it for today! If you haven’t seen my last post go ahead and check it out!!! Make sure you also check out my YouTube channel for covers which I finally posted up 2 songs. It would mean so much to me if you subscribe as well, and if you would like me to do a podcast let me know! I am open to suggestions! 

Love ya’ll. 

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Hello YouTube

Today I made the decision to reopen my YouTube channel for good….please check out my cover with the link below!!!

Before I continue, I want to say that the first video is dedicated to my team members, and to all of my kids that I have had the chance to mentor in leading them to know about the love of Jesus. My biggest wish is to continue to grow, and make the ministry into something even bigger. I have learned that sometimes God just wants to take his soldiers away from the comfort zone, and out to the unknown. 
I know for a fact that the calling God is giving me is something bigger then my imagination. However, it is making me nervous due to all the hate, and horrible comments that people make towards a certain type of music. I came to terms that I really can care less, I am ready for all the negative, positive, and even constructing comments. I would really love to share you guys my bucket list, but I won’t because there might be someone out there that might speak negative against my dreams. 

 

I learned to keep quite about my dreams, and goals because people like to speak negativity out to existence. I also learned to make a bucket list of every goal I want to accomplish this year. The only thing left to do is to act on every one of them instead of just dreaming about my goals coming true. It takes so much time, discipline, and a commitment to keep going for each goal. It is never easy but it is not impossible. 

It has been a while that I actually had the chance to sing on YouTube because I couldn’t afford to have the right equipment. After saving up money & working hard, I finally had enough to purchase my equipment!! It is taking a lot of time  to get used to everything because it is a lot to learn. I will be doing covers, vlogs, unboxing, reaction videos, and so much more. So please if you haven’t done so already make sure to subscribe, and if you are starting off your channel let me know to subscribe to yours!!!!

 

Are you following my series, it takes two to tango? If you are in a relationship, I hope my advices help because I am speaking from my own experience. I am thinking of doing a podcast later on so if you are intrestead of hearing me speak besides just reading my blog please let me know. I would like to help out many others out there, and give in my insights or even getting phone calls to personally speak one on one! Follow me on twitter for more inspiration, pintrest to see what I love, and instagram to keep updated! If you have snapchat add me as well to see all my adventures! I am as mishipcm on ALL platforms.
Love ya’ll and stay tuned for more!!! If you already subscribed thank you so much!!! Welcome to the fam!
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It takes two to tango (Part 1)

A few days ago, a close friend of mine asked me a question in regards on how to keep up with a relationship. The moment she asked me that question I couldn’t help, but remembering since my husband and I started dating till now. One question that she asked me was, “How often do my husband and I text and if it has changed throughout our journey?” with that in mind I decided to write this blog post in case someone out there needs to see this.

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I am going to be VERY honest, when Carlos Andres and I started out as friends we would literally text every…single….day! We would message each other even before going to sleep, or even if we would hang out with friends. As the time went by, we stopped talking for about a year, but continued to message each other once in a blue moon due to something that was going on at the time. Later on, we reconnected and started dating in which we had a lot of ups and downs.

It was never perfect, but we managed to pull through and try to live it up day by day. At this phase, we would only text during night because our schedules were the same at this stage. For example, we took the same classes, he was my lab partner, we sat side by side, we had the same breaks, we studied together, we worked in the same place, and we both went to the same church! So by the time it was night time we would just text each other “Goodnight see ya tomorrow babe!” and that was it.

It was sorta interesting because it was like someone was playing our dating life as if it was a delicate instrument. What I mean by this is the fact how everything was kept in balance, but we NEVER went to sleep mad at each other. I will never forget the day where we had the first argument, and since I came from relationships where guys never cared I thought he was going to be the same. Boy was I wrong! He kept me up till we resolved the issue, and then we went to sleep. 

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Old picture….2014? At the Tercer Cielo concert lol! 

I also remember how we would stay up till late via Skype studying, and quizzing each other before an exam. Social media was kept to a minimum to the point where people would ask if we were still together lol! Facebook is “meh” I usually go there for memes, but he never uses it. Instagram is my favorite but he only goes there for memes or inspiration to workout. Snapchat, I use it but he never does ha! However, twitter is a big one for him, but for me its literally “meh”. 

The only 3 apps that we used to communicate with each other back in the day were: Viber, Skype, and messenger. We kept our relationship to a minimum through social media, and again when we texted it would be kept to a minimum. When we got engaged we would text a little bit more then usual because of the wedding planning, and other than that I think that was it. I feel like the less social media is used the better the relationship, and healthier conversations may emerge.

So going back to the question, “How often do my husband and I text and if it has changed throughout our journey?” Now that we are married….we hardly text each other! lol! Communication, responsibility, and trust is KEY to a healthier relationship and lifestyle. In my next post, I will be writing about those three topics that I just mentioned, and I will break it down little by little. Another post will be on how to conquer jealously cause I know a few people out there with this exact problem. 

If you want to keep up with my posts please feel free to subscribe, and share this to anyone that you may think needs to see this. Keep up with the series “It takes two to tango!” Love ya’ll! 

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The End of a Decade

As I sit here thinking about the previous years, the only thing that goes through my mind is, “Dang…Won’t he do it?!” Let’s go way back and see how much I changed. 

  • 2010– Started fresh at Triton college after taking a year off from school, had a job at a hospital, was thinking of starting a blog, deleted my YouTube channel, and I really did not know how to manage my anxiety.
  • 2011– Met my husband by the end of the year (we went to the same college), I was getting ready to graduate, I entered the worship team at my church, and got out from a really toxic relationship. 
  • 2012– Traveled to Colombia, Panama, Guatemala, Florida, and I forgot where else lol! I started taking classes that would help me out in my career, and I spent as much time as I could just figuring out my life.
  • 2013– I took some classes at DePaul University, my husband became my tutor, I lost control of my eating, gained weight, and was getting stressed a lot during school. 
  • 2014– I transferred out of Depaul, went back to triton, my husband became my boyfriend, and from that point on my whole life changed. I was able to reconnect with my creative self and started writing songs all over again. 
  • 2015– Met a few people that I am so glad they are out of my life, started to control my anxiety a little more, got done with triton, and ended up going to Dominican university. 
  • 2016– This year was the one that was very difficult for me. Started this blog, reopened my YouTube channel, had my braces all over again, made a channel with my other half, traveled a little more, and what broke my heart was that I lost my abuela. She was the rock of our family, and I can still remember everything that went through my mind when I got the news. 
  • 2017– A few friends that I love died this year, it was a very hard stage because I was really negative, had depression that no one knew, but throughout everything I know God was just making me stronger for what was to come. I was embracing my ministry at church a little more than before, and I started to fall in love with the Lord all over again.
  • 2018– I went to a retreat that changed my life (shout out to my youth pastor), started getting more into the word of God, prayed for the Lord to remove fake friends (which this year he did!), my confidence sky rocketed, made new friends, got closer with my sibling, started writing content for my channel, wrote more on my blog, took “me time” very seriously, my significant other and I conquered so many things, and last but not least God put all the pieces together in time. 
  • 2019– Got engaged in February, traveled with my sister and mom, wedding preparations were on point, got a new job, went back to the gym, changed the color of my hair, crossed the stage, got married in November, redo my blog site, moved to a new home, detoxed from social media, bought the stuff that I always wanted, learned to save more, turned 29 (last year in my 20s!), reconnected with an old friend of mine from church, and by the end of the year God showed me his love like you have no clue. 

So the question is…What lies ahead of 2020? All I know is that something great is going to happen this year, and I am letting the Lord take control of everything. It is sad to hear on the news of what is going on throughout the world, but I know that if God is on my side my faith shall not be shaken. I have so much to put out on my social media, and I cannot wait till you guys see what I have in store. Love you all and I hope this year is the best year for all of us! 

~A decade in pictures 2010-2019~

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First Friendsgiving

Over the years, I have always pictured doing a party at my own place along with my husband. This year we literally went all out since it was our first party that we made! One rule that I always live by is that being on a budget is key! I feel like there are a lot of people that spend so much money, but they keep forgetting the memories that they will make. 

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Carlos and I laughed at the end of the day because not only was our Friendsgiving memorable, but we honestly winged it. You see we fixed our place last minute, and I wished I took a picture of how our living room looked before. We had so many boxes and it was so empty when we moved in. We didn’t even have a Christmas tree! So on the day of the party, we literally woke up at 6:30 a.m and went shopping! We got all of our stuff together and by 11:30 am we were already cleaning our place. Look at how it turned out! 

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What I love about all of this is that we both got very detailed in such short amount of time. Carlos told me we should have filmed everything and post it on our channel lol! The truth is, even if we did that, we wouldn’t even had the time to film because I forgot to charge my cannon camera, and only had my phone. My favorite thing about our apartment is that it has double doors that divide the living room, and the kitchen.

So basically I created two types of vibes! In the living room, I had my lights dimmed (first picture showed) with Christmas jazz playing in the background. Meanwhile in the kitchen, the lights were on with Colombian Christmas salsa playing in the background. Another thing that we nailed was our bathroom! We literally tried to make it seem as if you are walking into a Hilton hotel lol! We also did our very own sweet table which by the end of the day we had too much sweets! 

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We had turkey, Mac and cheese, beans, rice, briskets, tons of sweets, chips and dips, and much more. I literally told our friends to take a lot of food back to their place cause our fridge was full. Next came in the selfies and videos!! I am telling you though, this doesn’t make justice to the amount of fun we all had lol!

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& of course is it really a party if there aren’t people singing? We went old school with the songs! 

 

What a day!!! Now that I have experienced this I think I know exactly what to do for the Christmas party I am planning on doing. There is never a dull party at Château CC place! Now I would like to know is how do you guys make a party? Send me a message or comment below what do you do to organize during the holidays!

 

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Happily Ever CC

Yesterday marked one month…..

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that I have been married

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to my best friend!!!! 

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*cue a dramatic intro*

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So for the past few months I have been out of social media, and trying to soak every moment in. I had family visiting over that came to my wedding, and it was amazing spending time with them. Besides that, I have been moving so that pretty much is another huge reason as to why I haven’t blogged. 

I will be blogging starting today because I have finally settled into my new place. There are so many pictures that I want to share with you all, and give you an insight of how crazy my life was for the past few months. I also am going to update my youtube channel because I have a place where I can sit down and record my heart away. I was stressed out to the point that I got sick for about 3 weeks! 

After getting the proper care meaning, stayed in bed, stayed away from certain foods, and being far away as possible to the things that give me allergy I am finally 98% recovered. So the real question is, What updates do I have for all of you? Well…..

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The planning wasn’t all fun and games lol! It was a little bit stressful because we had so much going on, and on top of that we were both working. Literally we would get out of work, and back into planning our wedding. We had a few months to get everything together that at the last minute so many things came into place. However, like always there has to be one thing that doesn’t go as planned, right? In my case it was my bouquet!!

So the one thing that I needed was the one thing I forgot to pick up at the store. My bouquet!!! I remembered this the day before my wedding, and when the store was already closed. It wasn’t my fault though because the manager in where I ordered it needed to call me, and this lady did not! Bad service!!! At the last minute my incredible mom, who by the way did my dress (YES SHE DID THAT!), she went to look for her own bouquet, and let me have it! Just look at it!!!!! 

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And can we all take a few seconds and soak in the dress with the veil that my mother made? ahhhh!

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Everything was beyond perfect because I mean….my mom did that lol! I remembered this day as if it was yesterday because we were all running around trying to make the day as perfect as possible. I will never forget when I walked down the aisle and saw Carlos cry. All the memories that we had together when we were dating for the past 5 years came to my mind like a movie. From the moment that we met, when we started being the best of friends, from when he asked me to marry him, and till now. 

I never really thought that this day would come because it looked so far away, and it was never really in mind that this day would happen. That same week that we got married we started moving in our new place. On top of that, the day that we got married we had nothing in the fridge so we legit wasted about $110 on food we bought at Walgreens….at midnight. lol! No other store was opened so we had no other choice plus we were hungry!

I have a feeling you want to hear more of how we moved in, who helped us, see more pictures, and just about every single detail right? Well stay tuned cause I have so much to say! Plus I want to show you guys a small tour of our new place! I am so excited to start this journey, and even more hyped of getting back into this blogging world. I have been working on a song that I will post up, haven’t done it cause again I was super sick, but now I am feeling so much better it will be up in no time. 

I have a few topics that I will touch base on like married life, and how to cope with so many things at the same time. Organizing and winging a party on the last minute, and how to get your place glammed with less money. My apartment looks amazing and we didn’t even waste so much money on things that we have. I will share all of that in my upcoming blogs so stay tuned!!!! If you haven’t done so already make sure you follow me on instagram, and also the one I have with my husband. We will be posting about our place and how to get things done fast. Love ya’ll! 

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Living a day at a time

A lot of people in this world suffer from social anxiety, and at times I do too. There are times where I just want to be left alone, and I want to isolate from everyone. This happens because I am always surrounded with people mostly a big part of my day. At times I get frustrated because social media can also take a toll making me stop being on for a good amount of time. Being an influencer, worker, singer, songwriter, soon to be wife, sister, aunt, daughter, cousin, friend, and being part of a ministry is at times a bit overwhelming. Now imagine if I was a mom….Michele has left the chat!

I stick to myself, I go out alone, and I make sure I have time to just be….ALONE. Different people try to influence me one way or another, and others are very opinionated. I can literally sit for about a good amount of time, stare out of the window, and when I least expect it….its night time. I am not going to lie to you, but my favorite part of the day is going to bed. I disconnect from the world, and by that I mean I turn off all my electronic devices. The only thing I have is my watch that I use specifically only to see what time it is in case I wake up to get a drink of water. 

What is social anxiety to me? It is when people try to make me see the way they do, make me want to do things the way they want to, and trying to get a hold of me to make a point across. I am too much of a nice person at times, but there are days where I just want to smack everyone in the face. There are days when I wake up happy, but the minute I see my phone I get angry. I get upset at times that I can never please one person because another gets mad. I am still learning day by day to put myself first than everyone else. Being a perfectionist at heart, it gets difficult to have a smile on when inside I am in tears. 

Take my wedding planning as an example, social media portrays the most elegant and expensive wedding. My family and his family want different things cause our cultures are different. Friends expect another thing when it won’t happen the way that is in their minds. People that have only spoken to my fiancé and I (just once a year) expect to be invited (not gonna happen). Our parents friends expect an invite when they were hardly present in my life. Other people that “know me” whom either they unfriended me, but added me again ask for their invitation (not gonna happen). People in general asking about the wedding…anxiety.

When so many ask about my life…….like I really want them to leave me alone. Some that STALK ME, and don’t like me (that’s laughable) but is it really necessary? So many ignorant people from church, just because I say my opinion, they automatically portray me as the bad person. Despite of all of this, there is one secret that I have which maintains me with my head up high. It is something that I cannot contain, one word that is powerful, one word that changes my life with every second that passes by, and one that is beyond anything and everything in this world. 

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For me this is the following:

God > Depression/Anxiety 

I pray at night to be at ease.

I pray at night to be complete.

I pray at night to not feel weak.

I pray at night to make whatever I have go away.

I pray at night to have strength.

I pray at night so nothing can make me bend. 

I pray at night to trust in Jesus and myself more.

I pray at night so nothing can make me feel disturbed.

I pray at night to be okay.

I pray because at the end of the day only the Lord knows my way. 

 

Does that make sense? My definition of social anxiety can be extended into so much more, but I am only sharing this half with you in case anyone is able to relate to this. Trust me everything will be fine just find time to be alone. Now that I shared my story…I want to know what is yours? Please feel free to share your experience with me, send me a message, and let me know what part hit home for you the most. Love you all and I hope you are having an amazing day or night depending where you are at this moment. xoxo.

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Engagement pictures!

Finally…….

The day we took our engagement pictures was truly magical because the setting was so perfect! It had just finished raining, the temperature was amazing, and everything was just right. The funny thing is that we would reschedule so much because we didn’t have the time to take them, but the timing of God is always perfect. Here are some of the pictures that we took with our amazing photographer/ youth pastor Enrique Mayen! (Please follow him on his instagram, and let him know I sent you: Emayen 23 and check out his website: www.photographybyenrique.com )

 

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As you can see we were at the beach, and then headed out to the city it was awesome!!! I still have more pictures saved up that I will be posting later on. I cannot wait till my wedding because not only the setting will be amazing, but I have the most amazing photographer I could ever ask for. One thing that I learned is to let the photographer use his imagination! I was not picky at all because I know that whatever he had in mind was beyond beautiful.

If you are going to take any types of pictures, and you are looking for someone to capture your magical moment I recommend Mr. Mayen! He will not let you down and again go check out his site you will not regret it!!! For everyone that was waiting for this blog post…you’re welcome lol! See I told you that I was back, but you just didn’t know it lol! I hope you have an amazing day or night depending on where you are at.

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Where have I been?

What’s up everyone!!!!! Dang its good to be back!!!!

If any of you have been following my journey through this blogging world: Yeah I am back lol! If you are new, thank you for subscribing and allowing me to communicate with you through my site. The question today is:

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Let me tell you it is a very crazy time in my life because I literally have so much going on. From wedding planning, working, trying to get together with the family, and much more really took a toll on me. It got to the point where I would log on and didn’t even feel like writing because in the back of my mind…… I kept thinking on things that I needed to do. So I was very overwhelmed that I had to just step away from the computer, and tried to get the balance of my life. My schedule was basically something like this:

1. Work.

2. Wedding Planning (venue, bridesmaids, food, invitations, and etc.).

3. Family time / Friendship time

4. Work-out.

5. Church.

6. Trying to do a meal plan.

7. Looking for apartments (still am).

8. Starting to gather my things to move out soon.

9. Buying things for the next chapter of my life.

10. Trying to get decent sleep!

By the time I hit number 10 it was the same exact thing all over again for the next day. I would be tired, overwhelmed, and it got to the point that I would just shut out of everything to just stare outside for about one hour. I remember one time logging in to write to get my stress out, and I ended up being in a neutral stage where I did not even want to type. Life tried getting the best of me, and here I was trying to balance it all out. It was hard!

So many would tell me to take it easy, but even if I tried it was like one thing finished and then…. BOOM! There was another activity to do. My eyes would burn by even seeing my phone, I would have neck pains, and I was just wishing to get into bed and for the day to end as soon as possible. I had to sleep without a pillow so my neck pains would go away. I literally wanted for everything to end especially, having drama with certain people that LOVE to trigger me, but that’s another story for a different day.

So where have I been? I would really like to say, “Having fun!” when really I was just tired, and going to bed. Lol! It was such a nice feeling seeing my bed when I would get home from the things that I needed to do. There is nothing better than sleep because when you sleep enough that’s when you energy goes up again. Sleep and my bed has become my best friend lol! My fiancé would ask me what I was doing and I would respond…SLEEPING!

Before I forget there is one thing I would like say because I feel like so many do not understand. As a creator, it takes time to create new content in order to share with everyone. It is not easy as what you think it might be because in order for you to create you need to have a fresh and clear mind. You need to be in a place where nothing bothers you, and you know you will bring good things to everyone that sees your creation.

A few things that you will be seeing this week are my engagement pictures!!! I finally have them, and I am so excited to share it with all of you. That day was so magical because not only did we have so much fun, but it was like God made the day/night so perfect for us. You will see what I mean by that, and the pictures are so unique!!!! If you have not done so already make sure you follow me on instagram, and let me know so I can follow you back!

Again thank you so much for being very patient, waiting on my content, for subscribing, and for the sweet messages that I would get hoping that everything was well with me. I truly appreciate each and everyone of you!! The same goes for waiting on my youtube videos lol! I am hoping to do it after I am married cause my house right now is a chaos where if I try to record, my families voice would also go over my recording and its so annoying lol! I love you guys so much and I hope you are having a wonderful day or night depending on where you might be.  🙂

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