It takes two to tango (part 2)

Welcome to the series “It takes two to tango” If you want to find out what I will be talking about today then keep on reading. Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog, follow me on social media, and subscribing to my Youtube channel! Now let’s get down with todays topic. 

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Oh the jealously in relationships can take a toll huh? Today I want to talk about how not trusting, and being jealous about every little thing can harm one another. Yes, I am starting out this post very brutally honest because a lot of people sometimes can’t tell that what they are doing is wrong. How so? Keep on reading, and if you find yourself in this situation I would say that the change happens now!

Manipulative, controlling, jealously, and not taking the time to put yourself in someone else’s shoes can make you seem self centered. I hate when girls are so freaking jealous that their boyfriend, fiancé, and heck husband need to have their “alone” time because all of a sudden they are “cheating”. NO HONEY! Just like every girl needs their alone time so do the guys! I am not being on anyones side, but I am literally putting myself in a different perspective here.

When it comes to girls, I can see a lot of guys doing the same crap, and that isn’t healthy at all. I am a strong supporter in which everyone needs their alone time, time with friends, and being alone with their family. You CAN have a friend of the opposite sex, and not have any sentimental relationship at all. Why is that? Sometimes having a good friend that respects you can come in like a blessing because you get to see a different perspective without assuming anything bad.

My husband and I have friends that we can trust, and even go out with. We have no problem in spending time alone, being with the family, or just go out and have fun in a good manner. Feel me on this one? no? Keep reading. Everyone NEEDS to recharge and have the feeling of missing your significant other so intensely that heck….not only does it spice things up, but also the bond gets stronger. It is okay to be to ask him/her about what is going on, but assuming things without talking ….that is bad.

I don’t support in going through messages, emails, texts, or even social media because at the end of the day the only person that is getting fooled is them. What I do support is having a communication that can be stronger day by day. Also, if your significant other came from an and relationship its important to start slow, and give them their time to get used to it. Actions speak louder than words so if you want them to change show them, act on it, but don’t say things that will harm them more than what they already are. 

Speaking from experience, I came from terrible relationships where this one guy cheated on me on two girls that had the same name (terrible), and to kill it even more someone else cheated on me with a girl that had the same name as the others. When I look back at it, I can’t help but think how stupid I was for getting mad at that…instead I should be thankful that stuff happened or else I wouldn’t be better than they are. (yes, I know what they are going through now, and its hilarious.) That’s karma baby. 

When I dated my husband, I remember I was starting to be a control freak because oh honey I was paranoid. However, his actions spoke louder and I will never forget a serious conversation we had that made me change my perspective about him. Boy let me tell you…what a conversation we had! I am blessed that I have someone that speaks the brutal truth, and that shows me how things should be. The same goes for me showing him things so he won’t act crazy on me. 

So what are my tips on this blog post? *ahem* Check it out:

Women:

  • Let your significant other have fun with his friends, and don’t blow up his phone. That will just show how immature you are, and instead send him one text asking how the day is going and to get back safe. THATS IT!
  • Don’t get into his social media because if he loves you he won’t do anything at all. Instead joke around with him about using fb, ig, sc, or whatever he has. 
  • If he is out with his family while you see his snaps from relatives having fun DO NOT get so worked up. That is his family and if y’all aren’t even married don’t even say that you should had been invited. The time will come when you will lol 
  • If a “close friend” is speaking bad about him to you put that so called friend in his or her place. Instead of hearing them, be truthful and in a nice way tell your partner what you have heard. Communication is key!
  • If your guy is out having his alone time, girl chill out and let him be! Sometimes he needs to be out to get a hair cut, have a spa day alone, go out the movies alone (especially if you hate the movie he wants to see), and let him eat out alone. The man needs to recharge, and that is the perfect time to let him see who you are. 
  • If your guy has a friend of the opposite sex, and has been there for him first than you do not get jealous. Why is that? If he met her first before you came alone then that means he has chances to be with her, but he picked you after meeting you. Does that make sense? Sometimes it’s good to have a GOOD FRIEND that can put him on check for you, or let him have a different perspective. 
  • Try not to text so much and instead call each other, or see each other often. Using texts can always have miscommunication on a lot of topics creating unwanted fights. 

Men: 

  • Let your girl breathe! Stop being so immature in hitting her up all the freaking time. If she tells you that she needs her alone time trust me…LET HER!
  • When she is out with her friends don’t text her so much because chances are that she is trying to catch up with her girls. 
  • Everyday tell her she looks hot even though she might be sick. One word can trigger a women’s brain, and that can be the fuel she needs to get things going throughout the day.
  • Support her every goal! If she wants to workout go with her, and be her main support. I know a lot of men that prefer their girl to be unhealthy, and even dress to the point of them not being attractive because “others” might get her. 
  • If she is out with her family, don’t call her so much because she is trying to enjoy quality time with her loved ones. If you aren’t invited that just means its not the right time, but you will soon get your chance. 
  • Don’l look at her social media but instead talk things out if you feel that something weird is going on.
  • Actions speak louder than words! Instead of sending her texts why don’t you just make something? Don’t spend so much money on things that won’t be so meaningful. If you think about her write her a poem, make something cute out of paper, or anything else you can possibly think of. Trust me us girls LOVE things that are handmade especially if we see that it came with the pure intention of making us feel loved, wanted, and respected. 

 

They say old love is the best love, and I couldn’t agree more! I feel like I was definitely born in the wrong time because text messages or Facebook posts are just wack. I love poems written down on paper, something hand made, or a small picnic out at the park with PB&J sandwiches which my husband did that for me one time ha! I feel like back in the day people knew how to maintain a relationship, and knew what the word respect meant. 

Always remember to keep the love alive, the bedroom spiced up, and the bond stronger than yesterday. Never underestimate the power of communication, handwork, and actions because those are a total win. Well, this is it for today! If you haven’t seen my last post go ahead and check it out!!! Make sure you also check out my YouTube channel for covers which I finally posted up 2 songs. It would mean so much to me if you subscribe as well, and if you would like me to do a podcast let me know! I am open to suggestions! 

Love ya’ll. 

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It takes two to tango (Part 1)

A few days ago, a close friend of mine asked me a question in regards on how to keep up with a relationship. The moment she asked me that question I couldn’t help, but remembering since my husband and I started dating till now. One question that she asked me was, “How often do my husband and I text and if it has changed throughout our journey?” with that in mind I decided to write this blog post in case someone out there needs to see this.

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I am going to be VERY honest, when Carlos Andres and I started out as friends we would literally text every…single….day! We would message each other even before going to sleep, or even if we would hang out with friends. As the time went by, we stopped talking for about a year, but continued to message each other once in a blue moon due to something that was going on at the time. Later on, we reconnected and started dating in which we had a lot of ups and downs.

It was never perfect, but we managed to pull through and try to live it up day by day. At this phase, we would only text during night because our schedules were the same at this stage. For example, we took the same classes, he was my lab partner, we sat side by side, we had the same breaks, we studied together, we worked in the same place, and we both went to the same church! So by the time it was night time we would just text each other “Goodnight see ya tomorrow babe!” and that was it.

It was sorta interesting because it was like someone was playing our dating life as if it was a delicate instrument. What I mean by this is the fact how everything was kept in balance, but we NEVER went to sleep mad at each other. I will never forget the day where we had the first argument, and since I came from relationships where guys never cared I thought he was going to be the same. Boy was I wrong! He kept me up till we resolved the issue, and then we went to sleep. 

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Old picture….2014? At the Tercer Cielo concert lol! 

I also remember how we would stay up till late via Skype studying, and quizzing each other before an exam. Social media was kept to a minimum to the point where people would ask if we were still together lol! Facebook is “meh” I usually go there for memes, but he never uses it. Instagram is my favorite but he only goes there for memes or inspiration to workout. Snapchat, I use it but he never does ha! However, twitter is a big one for him, but for me its literally “meh”. 

The only 3 apps that we used to communicate with each other back in the day were: Viber, Skype, and messenger. We kept our relationship to a minimum through social media, and again when we texted it would be kept to a minimum. When we got engaged we would text a little bit more then usual because of the wedding planning, and other than that I think that was it. I feel like the less social media is used the better the relationship, and healthier conversations may emerge.

So going back to the question, “How often do my husband and I text and if it has changed throughout our journey?” Now that we are married….we hardly text each other! lol! Communication, responsibility, and trust is KEY to a healthier relationship and lifestyle. In my next post, I will be writing about those three topics that I just mentioned, and I will break it down little by little. Another post will be on how to conquer jealously cause I know a few people out there with this exact problem. 

If you want to keep up with my posts please feel free to subscribe, and share this to anyone that you may think needs to see this. Keep up with the series “It takes two to tango!” Love ya’ll! 

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