Positive for Covid19

This is the reason why I haven’t been posting so much during this lock-down. Before you read please keep in mind that everyone who gets this virus may experience something different. Thank you.

How does it feel finding out that you have covid19?

Anxiety, depression, and uncertainty of not knowing if you will be making it the next day. It feels as if everyone and everything is against you, it feels like you are not from this world, and at times it feels that getting this virus is in fact your fault. People either treat you differently or they look at you weird with fear that you might give it to them. It feels as if everything you have fought for has slipped through the cracks without not knowing if you will get a second chance to remake everything , and get a second chance to make your dreams come true. You get scared for other people that surrounded you while you had this virus, and praying so that they aren’t positive. You start to think about the good old days that you were able to hug your mom, dad, siblings, and a few other important people in your life. You feel as if you wished you had the power to turn back the time, and go back to the year where you thought you wanted the time to pass by quick. Despite of all of this, in a way it strengths your faith because when you feel alone you know that at least someone is always with you. You look at life way different and the purpose of everything that this earth has to offer. In a way, you feel alone but your perspective grows to the next dimension. Seeing people taking this as a joke, looking at how humans can not follow simple directions, and seeing how so many travel without not caring of the spread of this virus is heartbreaking….it makes you angry. When you get the news that you are positive you start to see your life flash before your eyes, you see your memories being more vivid than before, and the first people that you start thinking of are your parents. When I got the news of being detected, I couldn’t help to think on all of my dreams being either on pause or done. My husband suffers from asthma and he was detected with this virus, so in other words I wouldn’t sleep due to checking up on him while praying to God to give him another day to be with me. All of this and more is exactly how you feel when you find out that you have covid19.

 
Symptoms?

While having so many thoughts that invade your mind, it feels as if you were dehydrated for a long time. It feels as if you were carrying a big sack of potatoes while not having nothing to drink for weeks. You feel tired to the point that you feel that you just want to be in bed 24/7, and having the worst body aches. This also brings out the worst headaches, and for some it causes not being able to breathe. Mild covid or not…it feels horrible…. it messes up with you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The fevers are the worst, having the chills, and being cold to the point that you think that nothing can warm you up. What happened to me? Well, the first day I had to crawl while crying to the bathroom because I couldn’t feel my body at all. I was dehydrated that I did not want to eat anything, and I just wanted to drink water. My eyes burned, I couldn’t feel my body, and worst of all I lost a lot of weight by the first week due to diarrhea which is another symptom that you get. There were days where I felt that either I couldn’t catch up with my breathing, or I just honestly wanted my body to stop fighting. However, seeing my husband beside me, and seeing my parents and sister through camera strengthened me to keep on going. I remember being lightheaded for no reason, wanting to throw up the food I ate, and putting up an act so my family wouldn’t get worried. I would say I was good, I am making it, and then hanging up bursting into tears because I knew that it wasn’t true. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a fever, and as I touched the arm of my husband I would start to pray so we can be better when the sun would come up again. For him? He had a cough and had to use his inhaler about 3 times or so. He was so strong for me so that I would kick my depression to the curve while he was low key scared, but wouldn’t tell me I would just see it in his eyes, and that was enough for me to confirm that he was indeed scared too. Please keep in mind that each person is different, and some might not even know that they have it.

 
Spiritually?

Where do I begin, being a person that worships the Lord I might say that the first few hours I started to doubt. I would think, ” I do everything to at least be half of the person you want me to be, but then again I get this?! WHY ME?!” There are no words to describe how angry I was, how disappointed I felt, and how unloved I was feeling at the moment. As the hours passed by, I kept thinking if there was actually a higher and magical power or if I was always worshiping something or someone that never existed. I couldn’t help but think of the pain that I felt, till for some odd reason I started thinking of the scripture of Job. That is when I thought, “Is this a test you want me to pass? seriously?” the moment that I thought of that, I started to remember all my kids that I work with at church. Each smile that passed through my mind was a fuel that gave me to keep believing in God through this tough time. I looked up in the news how other countries were doing, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw that different animals started to reappear. I started seeing the masterpiece that God created through my computer screen, I looked out the window to appreciate the wind, I saw the birds fly so freely in the air, and I captured the moment when it started to rain. I came to the conclusion that as humans we are always making a huge deal when its such a gloomy day, when it is too cold, and when it is raining or snowing. We really don’t look at it as a benefit that God sends down for us because if you think about it…it really does benefit us. The rain comes down so the vegetables/fruits can grow, it gives water to the animals that need it, the cold is a benefit for us so we can stay inside while the earth tries to breathe so we can live in a better place, the snow is something for us to admire because not a lot people have that amazing view, and waking up to a gloomy day is just a sign that God gave us to wake up to see his masterpiece once again. Other people do not have the gift of life like we do right now because as you are reading this there is someone out there taking their last breath. Out there at this very moment, is probably someone looking at their last day in this world, and others are trying to fight for their life so they are able to live like you do. Having covid19 made me see so many things that I used to take for granted, and I appreciated every breath I was taking as each hour passed by. I started praising God through this storm, and I still do! If it wasn’t for God I wouldn’t be a survivor of this deadly virus going around, and I know that he had mercy over my soul because I have a purpose in which his work through me is still not done. 

 
Who?

During the rough moments, you start to see who really matters in your life, and who is just there to watch when you fall so they can laugh about it. You examine people in a different form and you are ready to cut them off. I am so happy that I have the best friends a girl can ever ask for, a few family members that took the time to check up on me, and prayed over my life. If I could mention every single one of them who checked up on me the list wouldn’t end. If you are reading this and you reached out to me I just want to say from the bottom of my heart: Thank you. Thank you for being there when I needed support, for encouraging me, and for praying for my husband and I. We really do appreciate it and we have all of you in our prayers!

 

How do you get it?

There is a reason why we need to have social distancing and follow simple rules! If you are too close to someone else, if they cough or sneeze, by touching the surface and then touching any part of your face, and last but not least some people are carriers of the disease which they might not even know. Till this day I have no idea where I got it from because it is truly a mystery. I work in the medical field, so chances are maybe I talked to someone that looked healthy, maybe when I had to go grocery shopping, or while I was walking towards my car and probably someone had just finished sneezing or coughing in that area. I know for a fact that it wasn’t because of traveling because with this going on there is no way that I will book a flight during this time…its called using common sense. 

 
How to prevent it?

Use a mask, disinfect your home, put a bag on the passenger/driver seat (change it at the end of the week), disinfect your car, change your toothbrush every other week, take a shower as soon as you get home, put the clothes in the washer right when you take them off, eat vegetables/ fruits, stay away from caffeine, stay away from junk food, stay away from high salt/sugar, and use mask with gloves every time you go out. Try to drink a lot of water and if possible do warm gargles of salt before you start your day and before you go to sleep. If you have a strong immune system the virus will not be as bad in case you get infected. 

 
The recovery?
It is a slow one to the point of getting anxious because you just want to be good as soon as possible. However, at times I feel tired and yet there are other days where I am so full of energy. This stage is a hard one because at times it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is because you would want to go see your family that you haven’t seen in weeks, but you still need to be isolated in order to get better. For other people the recovery might be a different experience as well as the symptoms. 

 
Conclusion?

One thing that we can all agree on, only the ones that have gone through this and survived, is that….we made it. People might look at us and say, “Is it really that bad?” but what they don’t know is… that it is! The first week you are full of emotions and wondering if you will get worse the next day. The second week you are still in shock that you even had it because you think if you were really healthy to begin with. The third week is more just like the “meh” stage where you start to get anxious because you want to see your loved ones. The rest you start to get depression or you just feel out of place and the need of wanting to scream to the world. I want everyone to return to their normal life, but for right now we all need to be isolated. 

There are no words to describe on how much I want a hug from my parents, my sister, certain family members, and my friends. I have no idea how to explain the need that I have to be up on stage, and start singing to the Lord without stopping. I can’t describe the need that I have to scream to the world to follow the simple rules so WE CAN ALL have our normal life back. 

I wish there was a word to clear the pain away from my friends that are going through this, and especially canceling an important event in their life. If you are reading this and had plans to get married this year, have a baby shower, graduate, or you are positive for this virus or even lost someone from this please know that even if we do not talk as much…I AM PRAYING FOR YOU! 

The best advice I can give is to stay away from the media, stop watching the news, and start trusting in God. Let go and Let GOD! I will be sharing a few songs that has helped me so much throughout this time, and I would like for you to hear it too. If anything covid19 is just a giant that we need to face with confidence. WE GOT THIS YA’LL!!!! 2020 isn’t completely dead yet, and we have the chance to rescue it! 

If we all pray all I gotta say is…..

 

We are stronger together Stock Vectors, Royalty Free We are ...

If you have questions, concerns, going through depression, anxiety, or you just feel lonely please do not hesitate to send me a message. Stay tuned for the next post because I will be sharing what I have been doing through this pandemic! Changes in the way I mediate, songs that I have written, and new things that I have discovered in the kitchen! I will be posting a video up on YouTube too so if you haven’t done so already make sure you subscribe. Also, subscribe to my blog to stay up to date with everything that I will be sharing. 

Love ya’ll and God bless.

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Songs that helped and keep helping me through this time feel free to check them out.

Living a day at a time

A lot of people in this world suffer from social anxiety, and at times I do too. There are times where I just want to be left alone, and I want to isolate from everyone. This happens because I am always surrounded with people mostly a big part of my day. At times I get frustrated because social media can also take a toll making me stop being on for a good amount of time. Being an influencer, worker, singer, songwriter, soon to be wife, sister, aunt, daughter, cousin, friend, and being part of a ministry is at times a bit overwhelming. Now imagine if I was a mom….Michele has left the chat!

I stick to myself, I go out alone, and I make sure I have time to just be….ALONE. Different people try to influence me one way or another, and others are very opinionated. I can literally sit for about a good amount of time, stare out of the window, and when I least expect it….its night time. I am not going to lie to you, but my favorite part of the day is going to bed. I disconnect from the world, and by that I mean I turn off all my electronic devices. The only thing I have is my watch that I use specifically only to see what time it is in case I wake up to get a drink of water. 

What is social anxiety to me? It is when people try to make me see the way they do, make me want to do things the way they want to, and trying to get a hold of me to make a point across. I am too much of a nice person at times, but there are days where I just want to smack everyone in the face. There are days when I wake up happy, but the minute I see my phone I get angry. I get upset at times that I can never please one person because another gets mad. I am still learning day by day to put myself first than everyone else. Being a perfectionist at heart, it gets difficult to have a smile on when inside I am in tears. 

Take my wedding planning as an example, social media portrays the most elegant and expensive wedding. My family and his family want different things cause our cultures are different. Friends expect another thing when it won’t happen the way that is in their minds. People that have only spoken to my fiancé and I (just once a year) expect to be invited (not gonna happen). Our parents friends expect an invite when they were hardly present in my life. Other people that “know me” whom either they unfriended me, but added me again ask for their invitation (not gonna happen). People in general asking about the wedding…anxiety.

When so many ask about my life…….like I really want them to leave me alone. Some that STALK ME, and don’t like me (that’s laughable) but is it really necessary? So many ignorant people from church, just because I say my opinion, they automatically portray me as the bad person. Despite of all of this, there is one secret that I have which maintains me with my head up high. It is something that I cannot contain, one word that is powerful, one word that changes my life with every second that passes by, and one that is beyond anything and everything in this world. 

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For me this is the following:

God > Depression/Anxiety 

I pray at night to be at ease.

I pray at night to be complete.

I pray at night to not feel weak.

I pray at night to make whatever I have go away.

I pray at night to have strength.

I pray at night so nothing can make me bend. 

I pray at night to trust in Jesus and myself more.

I pray at night so nothing can make me feel disturbed.

I pray at night to be okay.

I pray because at the end of the day only the Lord knows my way. 

 

Does that make sense? My definition of social anxiety can be extended into so much more, but I am only sharing this half with you in case anyone is able to relate to this. Trust me everything will be fine just find time to be alone. Now that I shared my story…I want to know what is yours? Please feel free to share your experience with me, send me a message, and let me know what part hit home for you the most. Love you all and I hope you are having an amazing day or night depending where you are at this moment. xoxo.

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Hellllooo!!!!!! ha!

What is up ya’ll?? It is my birthday week, and I am back!! I have been gone for a little while because I work so much now, and my times shift a lot now. There are times where I work in the mornings, and others where I work nights making me wake up super late during the day. It is always unpredictable of how my day may look like, and there are so many things that that I want you all to catch up on!!! 

Many of you know that I will be getting married soon so basically the preparations are going as planned. There are still a few things that I need to make sure that I have ready for my big day, and I am also cutting down on food so much now. It hasn’t been an easy journey because where I work there is ALWAYS something to eat. There are many times that they have all of my favorite things that it is so hard to resist, and when I say “no” to some I feel like I die a little lol! 

Also as you can finally see…I got my braces off!!!!
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This journey of 6 years is finally over, and now I can smile confident like I never did before. The only downside right now is dealing with my retainer, but that is something that I am trying to get used to. I have to take them off before I eat, and put them back on after I eat. However, before putting back my retainer I need to wash my teeth all the time. The retainers help me cut back on food because I don’t want to eat something that may stain my teeth, and then it will take me forever to wash them. The longer I have my retainer off the faster my teeth can shift, but that is exactly what I do not want which is why my retainer helps me out so much. 

Another thing is that I am already working on my music so I can upload it. I know I have been saying this since forever, but trust me it’s worth the wait. I was never confident being in front of a camera because of my braces, and now that they are off I finally feel comfortable. If you have any songs that you like make sure you let me know so I can do a cover on it. This week is kinda bitter-sweet because this is my last year in my 20s, and let me tell you it has been a roller coaster! I had my ups and downs but I am grateful for it all. I feel like this last year will be the best one yet! I have so much to look forward to, and so much to count down.

Tomorrow I will be posting something that might be an eye opener for some, and others the shoe might even fit lol!!! A lot of people get sensitive now a days, but that is because they think it’s directly to them when it really is not. lol! So how are you guys doing?? I hope all of you are having an amazing month like I am because June is literally the best month ever!! 😉 

 

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Hello mi gente

Hi…how are ya?

(cue Jeffree Star)

It has been a long…long…LONG while that I haven’t uploaded nothing on my blog, but here I am! No, I did not disappear at all I was just trying to catch up on a few things in my life which are very exciting. First off, it is refreshing to return to the blogging world as well as creating new content. I didn’t want my blog to be something that will get ya’ll bored, but rather a blog that will get you excited once you see a notification from me. 

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED

I am so excited to say that I work at Loyola hospital, which I mentioned that in one of my previous post, and also that my wedding planning is coming together. Since I started working, I had been trying to invest and save up on something that I have always dreamed of. For some it might not be the “big deal”, but keep in mind I am coming up from having “not what I dreamed of” to something that I am getting everything I ever wanted! This is all happening in less than 2 months!! 

Also, I finally got the camera I wanted, a brand new computer, and now I am in the process of getting a new phone. Is it not a big deal to some? well yes because they already have the stuff that I always wanted. However, to me is a big deal because I worked, and continue working so hard on my dream goals. To top it off, I work with the most amazing people in this universe. I am so blessed to work in an environment where I feel that I am loved, and with people that are willing to teach me more each day. 

Another thing that I am so excited about, is that I can finally do my Youtube channel, and post up my music!!!! I have a computer with an amazing software that makes my music sound as if I was in the studio. Since I love music so much, I learned how to play with the software in a matter of 2 hours. I also got a new gel kit which a co-worker of mine recommend it to me. My nails FINALLY look FLAWLESS, and I do not have to go to a nail salon anymore. If you want to know which one I use send me a message, and I will send you the picture.

 

WEDDING PLANNING

If you don’t know this yet….yes I am getting married…THIS YEAR! I am planning little by little with my Fiancé because we had been busy. However, in this whole process we have seen that it doesn’t take so much to do plan for a wedding. It actually takes such little time, but so many love to plan it 2 years before or even 1 year. The only thing is that I have’t contacted my bridesmaids yet because I am still looking for the perfect design that I want them to wear.

My colors? that will be a surprise! You will see pictures of it once the wedding day arrives, and trust me its a color that is very classy. I really love doing life with my significant other because it is finally time to get our life in one. We have been together for 5 years, and it has been a wild journey. We have overcome every single thing because we put God in the center of it all. I love how the process works with my husband to be because we literally turn everything into laughter.

If you haven’t seen yet, I started a wedding series, not so long ago, so I will link everything down below so you can follow along. I have a few topics coming up such as who to invite, how much will it be, how to have a wedding under a budget, and much more. So many questions that a lot of people ask me will finally be shared on here, and if you have any advice for me then please go ahead and share it! I am open to any advice and it would be awesome if I can feature YOU on my blog. 

THE PLAN FROM NOW ON

I used to be scared to voice my opinion on certain topics, but that won’t be the case anymore. So baby if the shoe fits…WEAR IT! I will be blogging more now because I finally have a set schedule to do everything that I wanted to do. With a new equipment, I will be able to accomplish some of my goals on this blog. If you don’t so yet, then go ahead and follow me on my social media because I will be posting a little bit more. I will try not to disappear this time.. I PROMISE! 

The day that I do have a small vacation from posting I will make sure to let you all know so you can stay updated. Let me know if you want me to talk about politics (oh man lol), beauty, motherhood (I can feature some cool moms on here), or whatever you have in mind. I am literally an open book, and trust me I do not hide my feelings at all. With that being said the following are the blogging wedding series that I started doing: 

Wedding party favors

It’s all about the music

Engaged, but what happens now?I’m ENGAGED!!!

I’m ENGAGED!!!

I will be updating so many things on here so you better keep an eye out! Make sure you are subscribed to my channel because the content that I will be posting up will have you shook! I hope you are all enjoying this month because summer is just around the corner!!

Love ya’ll. God bless. Peace.

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If I can…So can you.

 

This is me….at 4 am…..ready to go to work at my dream hospital!!! Since I was a little girl I always wanted to work in one of the best hospitals where I am from, and Glory to God that my dream came true!!!! Quick story are you ready? I hope that whoever reads this gets inspired, and get their gears going at school. No one and nothing is an obstacle….the only obstacle is you. 

I always wanted to work in the medical field…ALWAYS. However, that dream started to fade little by little due to a few events that happened in my life, and also around a few people that are really close to me. However, I didn’t stop there and I didn’t let anyone tell me otherwise. I had people who doubted me that made me doubt on my own self. I had teachers that told me I would never pass, and then again I proved them wrong. I had “friends” that would say nice things to my face, and stab me in the back.

I had a few family members that tried to play me, and treated me as a joke. Despite of all of this, my faith in the Lord grew, my self-confidence started boosting up, and most important of all I started hearing the voice of God to take care more of myself. I worked at different places, and even a hospital where they literally TRIED to make me feel stupid just because I wasn’t in the same “level” as them. I had a job where old co-workers at an orthodontist made me pick up trash, and TRIED to put a bad recommendation about me. 

I had stalkers…STALKERS and so many haters that their jealousy would boost up in their veins, and you could see it pop in the middle of their forehead. What can I say though? They were my biggest fans because till this day some of them still try to “check up” on me, and they think I have no idea. With all of this, I started working extra hard, put in more hours, cried when no one was looking, and did my very best to get recognized in order to get my name out there. 

Guess what happened? The devil didn’t win, and God put me beyond every single person who ALWAYS wanted to see me down a dam drain. Also, age doesn’t mean you are “old” it means you have more wisdom, it means you get new people in your life that love you who are LOW MAINTENANCE which understand you have a life, it means that you do not let a day get to you, and it means you keep on trying because when you “fail” it just means it was practice. 

It is my 3rd day in which I remember a long time ago during this time I prayed for an environment where I can work in peace, and where people would get to see my true potential. I believe that prayer works, prayer makes it’s way, and God gives you what you need in the correct time. I can say that God has showed me his love, mercy, and his grace! Today I stand proud, with tears of gratitude, with my degree, with the news that I can continue my education at the same place I work at, and with a heart filled with love.

The whole point of being in the medical field, is having one foot in the door of an amazing organization in order to keep growing. Having one foot in the door for more opportunities, and always trusting in the Lord that he will make a way. Today I can say…I made it. I made it because despite of every situation God pulled me out of, and because when I really thought I was about to give up he said, “HOLD IT HONEY I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU!” 

Not only do I work in my dream job, but besides that I also work online as an influencer. I have an amazing team with the Tribe Girls and MHB in which I am an admin in, and we have big dreams for our team. I have my parents who are my rock, and my sister who is my hype girl. My fiance who literally believes in me, and motivates me like ya’ll have no idea. I have wonderful friends who will be my bridesmaids that pray for me everyday.

I have my brothers and my nephew that are the other pieces of my heart back in Guatemala, and my cousins in Colombia which we connect as time never passed by. What can I say? I AM BEYOND BLESSED! My dreams keep coming true little by little, and it is not because of some “destiny” this is because I WORK HARD! I love love love my life! I cannot wait to see what God has prepared for my future because another opportunity is coming up in which requires hard work, but I will do it because the Lord will give me the strength. 

Hello, my name is Michele Carvajal born in Chicago, IL, daughter of a father from Colombia & mother from Guatemala, and better known as Mishi. A girl who went to Mary Lyon Elementary School, went to Steinmetz High School, which then went to Northwestern College, to Triton College, to Depaul University, and ended it at Dominican University. Dominican has one graduation a year, I graduated last year, but I have to cross this May. Former employee at Edgebrook orthodontics, Triton College, Gottlieb Hospital, Dominican University, and Northwestern Hospital. Today I stand PROUD with my dream hospital….I am an employee in one of the best sections with people who are extremely wonderful. I am an employee at Loyola University Medical Center in which it is based on trinity, and we have other hospitals around which include: Gottlieb Hospital, Macneal Hospital, and sister to Mercy hospital. I am an influncer, gospel singer, song-writer, blogger, and trying to make my way in this world. I am a girl that will continue her education to get a higher degree, and promotion. One day, Lord willing, win the the Grammy for best Gospel album of the year…honey I declare that! Just watch, and hopefully build my own companies with my Husband to be. That is who I am and it is so nice to meet you.

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If this has inspired you in any way I am glad it did! Remember this: You might cry now, people might doubt you, but do not let that get to you. YOU BETTER SHOW THEM! but please show it to yourself! If I can do it….so can you! If you want to send me a message and talk about something you are going through, and would like for me to pray for you go ahead and do it. I am also willing to give you advice so don’t wait…the change starts NOW! I hope you have an amazing day or night depending on where you are in the world.

Love ya’ll. God bless. Peace. 

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