The End of a Decade

As I sit here thinking about the previous years, the only thing that goes through my mind is, “Dang…Won’t he do it?!” Let’s go way back and see how much I changed. 

  • 2010– Started fresh at Triton college after taking a year off from school, had a job at a hospital, was thinking of starting a blog, deleted my YouTube channel, and I really did not know how to manage my anxiety.
  • 2011– Met my husband by the end of the year (we went to the same college), I was getting ready to graduate, I entered the worship team at my church, and got out from a really toxic relationship. 
  • 2012– Traveled to Colombia, Panama, Guatemala, Florida, and I forgot where else lol! I started taking classes that would help me out in my career, and I spent as much time as I could just figuring out my life.
  • 2013– I took some classes at DePaul University, my husband became my tutor, I lost control of my eating, gained weight, and was getting stressed a lot during school. 
  • 2014– I transferred out of Depaul, went back to triton, my husband became my boyfriend, and from that point on my whole life changed. I was able to reconnect with my creative self and started writing songs all over again. 
  • 2015– Met a few people that I am so glad they are out of my life, started to control my anxiety a little more, got done with triton, and ended up going to Dominican university. 
  • 2016– This year was the one that was very difficult for me. Started this blog, reopened my YouTube channel, had my braces all over again, made a channel with my other half, traveled a little more, and what broke my heart was that I lost my abuela. She was the rock of our family, and I can still remember everything that went through my mind when I got the news. 
  • 2017– A few friends that I love died this year, it was a very hard stage because I was really negative, had depression that no one knew, but throughout everything I know God was just making me stronger for what was to come. I was embracing my ministry at church a little more than before, and I started to fall in love with the Lord all over again.
  • 2018– I went to a retreat that changed my life (shout out to my youth pastor), started getting more into the word of God, prayed for the Lord to remove fake friends (which this year he did!), my confidence sky rocketed, made new friends, got closer with my sibling, started writing content for my channel, wrote more on my blog, took “me time” very seriously, my significant other and I conquered so many things, and last but not least God put all the pieces together in time. 
  • 2019– Got engaged in February, traveled with my sister and mom, wedding preparations were on point, got a new job, went back to the gym, changed the color of my hair, crossed the stage, got married in November, redo my blog site, moved to a new home, detoxed from social media, bought the stuff that I always wanted, learned to save more, turned 29 (last year in my 20s!), reconnected with an old friend of mine from church, and by the end of the year God showed me his love like you have no clue. 

So the question is…What lies ahead of 2020? All I know is that something great is going to happen this year, and I am letting the Lord take control of everything. It is sad to hear on the news of what is going on throughout the world, but I know that if God is on my side my faith shall not be shaken. I have so much to put out on my social media, and I cannot wait till you guys see what I have in store. Love you all and I hope this year is the best year for all of us! 

~A decade in pictures 2010-2019~

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Living a day at a time

A lot of people in this world suffer from social anxiety, and at times I do too. There are times where I just want to be left alone, and I want to isolate from everyone. This happens because I am always surrounded with people mostly a big part of my day. At times I get frustrated because social media can also take a toll making me stop being on for a good amount of time. Being an influencer, worker, singer, songwriter, soon to be wife, sister, aunt, daughter, cousin, friend, and being part of a ministry is at times a bit overwhelming. Now imagine if I was a mom….Michele has left the chat!

I stick to myself, I go out alone, and I make sure I have time to just be….ALONE. Different people try to influence me one way or another, and others are very opinionated. I can literally sit for about a good amount of time, stare out of the window, and when I least expect it….its night time. I am not going to lie to you, but my favorite part of the day is going to bed. I disconnect from the world, and by that I mean I turn off all my electronic devices. The only thing I have is my watch that I use specifically only to see what time it is in case I wake up to get a drink of water. 

What is social anxiety to me? It is when people try to make me see the way they do, make me want to do things the way they want to, and trying to get a hold of me to make a point across. I am too much of a nice person at times, but there are days where I just want to smack everyone in the face. There are days when I wake up happy, but the minute I see my phone I get angry. I get upset at times that I can never please one person because another gets mad. I am still learning day by day to put myself first than everyone else. Being a perfectionist at heart, it gets difficult to have a smile on when inside I am in tears. 

Take my wedding planning as an example, social media portrays the most elegant and expensive wedding. My family and his family want different things cause our cultures are different. Friends expect another thing when it won’t happen the way that is in their minds. People that have only spoken to my fiancé and I (just once a year) expect to be invited (not gonna happen). Our parents friends expect an invite when they were hardly present in my life. Other people that “know me” whom either they unfriended me, but added me again ask for their invitation (not gonna happen). People in general asking about the wedding…anxiety.

When so many ask about my life…….like I really want them to leave me alone. Some that STALK ME, and don’t like me (that’s laughable) but is it really necessary? So many ignorant people from church, just because I say my opinion, they automatically portray me as the bad person. Despite of all of this, there is one secret that I have which maintains me with my head up high. It is something that I cannot contain, one word that is powerful, one word that changes my life with every second that passes by, and one that is beyond anything and everything in this world. 

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For me this is the following:

God > Depression/Anxiety 

I pray at night to be at ease.

I pray at night to be complete.

I pray at night to not feel weak.

I pray at night to make whatever I have go away.

I pray at night to have strength.

I pray at night so nothing can make me bend. 

I pray at night to trust in Jesus and myself more.

I pray at night so nothing can make me feel disturbed.

I pray at night to be okay.

I pray because at the end of the day only the Lord knows my way. 

 

Does that make sense? My definition of social anxiety can be extended into so much more, but I am only sharing this half with you in case anyone is able to relate to this. Trust me everything will be fine just find time to be alone. Now that I shared my story…I want to know what is yours? Please feel free to share your experience with me, send me a message, and let me know what part hit home for you the most. Love you all and I hope you are having an amazing day or night depending where you are at this moment. xoxo.

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Where have I been?

What’s up everyone!!!!! Dang its good to be back!!!!

If any of you have been following my journey through this blogging world: Yeah I am back lol! If you are new, thank you for subscribing and allowing me to communicate with you through my site. The question today is:

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Let me tell you it is a very crazy time in my life because I literally have so much going on. From wedding planning, working, trying to get together with the family, and much more really took a toll on me. It got to the point where I would log on and didn’t even feel like writing because in the back of my mind…… I kept thinking on things that I needed to do. So I was very overwhelmed that I had to just step away from the computer, and tried to get the balance of my life. My schedule was basically something like this:

1. Work.

2. Wedding Planning (venue, bridesmaids, food, invitations, and etc.).

3. Family time / Friendship time

4. Work-out.

5. Church.

6. Trying to do a meal plan.

7. Looking for apartments (still am).

8. Starting to gather my things to move out soon.

9. Buying things for the next chapter of my life.

10. Trying to get decent sleep!

By the time I hit number 10 it was the same exact thing all over again for the next day. I would be tired, overwhelmed, and it got to the point that I would just shut out of everything to just stare outside for about one hour. I remember one time logging in to write to get my stress out, and I ended up being in a neutral stage where I did not even want to type. Life tried getting the best of me, and here I was trying to balance it all out. It was hard!

So many would tell me to take it easy, but even if I tried it was like one thing finished and then…. BOOM! There was another activity to do. My eyes would burn by even seeing my phone, I would have neck pains, and I was just wishing to get into bed and for the day to end as soon as possible. I had to sleep without a pillow so my neck pains would go away. I literally wanted for everything to end especially, having drama with certain people that LOVE to trigger me, but that’s another story for a different day.

So where have I been? I would really like to say, “Having fun!” when really I was just tired, and going to bed. Lol! It was such a nice feeling seeing my bed when I would get home from the things that I needed to do. There is nothing better than sleep because when you sleep enough that’s when you energy goes up again. Sleep and my bed has become my best friend lol! My fiancé would ask me what I was doing and I would respond…SLEEPING!

Before I forget there is one thing I would like say because I feel like so many do not understand. As a creator, it takes time to create new content in order to share with everyone. It is not easy as what you think it might be because in order for you to create you need to have a fresh and clear mind. You need to be in a place where nothing bothers you, and you know you will bring good things to everyone that sees your creation.

A few things that you will be seeing this week are my engagement pictures!!! I finally have them, and I am so excited to share it with all of you. That day was so magical because not only did we have so much fun, but it was like God made the day/night so perfect for us. You will see what I mean by that, and the pictures are so unique!!!! If you have not done so already make sure you follow me on instagram, and let me know so I can follow you back!

Again thank you so much for being very patient, waiting on my content, for subscribing, and for the sweet messages that I would get hoping that everything was well with me. I truly appreciate each and everyone of you!! The same goes for waiting on my youtube videos lol! I am hoping to do it after I am married cause my house right now is a chaos where if I try to record, my families voice would also go over my recording and its so annoying lol! I love you guys so much and I hope you are having a wonderful day or night depending on where you might be.  🙂

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Quotes of the day

Today I just want to share with ya’ll a few quotes that have inspired me during this week. This is going to be a short post because I am doing a few things at the moment, but I am trying to catch up with all of you. These quotes mean so much to me because it has different meanings, and makes me to never give up on my goal. I hope everyone had a fantastic week because the weekend is now loading!!!! I hope these quotes help you out like they did with me. 

 

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Love you all and see you in the next blog post! stay tuned! 

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Birthday Loading

It is Wednesday and with that the hours are starting to feel that they are going a little bit more faster because tomorrow is my birthday!!! It is so crazy how this week has flown by, and surprisingly enough I am catching up with updating my site! I still feel like it was yesterday when I started to blog, and when I decided to not have a filter with my posts. Anyways…..June has flown by so flipping quick, and with that getting closer to have a few days off. I have been working non-stop for the things that I needed, wanted, and most importantly working on new content for you all. Oh and did I mention my countdown to my wedding has finally begun? October 26 by city hall, and November 3rd the big ceremony!!! I am trying not to get overwhelmed because I always said that I do not want to be those type of brides where they turn into a bridezilla. The only thing I know will happen is that I will be hungry every single minute, and for that my matron of honor (Roro) will be the one carrying my snacks. LOL!

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Today I want to talk about my weight-loss journey, and what am I doing to get fit for my big day (as well as my engagement pictures next month!) so hyped!!! A while back my fiance got a gym membership in which I used to weigh 160, but going almost everyday with my other half I went down to 149! However, due to myself finally getting one of my dream jobs, and him getting more hours at work I stopped going. You see, he had the full membership and I would only go as a guest. It got to the point where I got so busy that I forgot to workout, and BARELY (a few days ago) started eating very unhealthy. About a week or maybe 2 weeks ago, I caught myself struggling to climb up the stairs, got sick, and when I went to the doctor he told me that I gained back to 151. To think that I hit a plateau and let myself go back to being unhealthy made me feel weak on the inside.

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So the same way that I splurged on things that I really wanted I decided to splurge on things that I REALLY needed. What did I do? Well, I bought myself a fitbit, new workout gear, and lastly got my own membership at the gym. From 152 I am back at 149 and I am so determined to continue losing weight. It turns out that those pounds I gained made me feel super weak, and I was running out of energy. My focus now are on my abs and getting my legs back on track!!! One thing that I noticed though, was that when I returned to the gym I saw that I can still lift the same amount that I used to do when I would go to the gym. The things that I started eating again help me feel so fresh, healthy, and full with energy. The saying that you are and feel what you eat is so true! So for my goal of being on my last year in my 20s is slimming back to 118!!!! I am aiming to be at least 120, but with seeing how a few models do it to get to back into shape (even weighing 100) I think I am able to bounce back.

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What’s crazy is that its my birthday month so that means no carbs at all. Cake who?? and I will be waiting to eat cake during the cake taste for my wedding which will be in about 2 months. I also cannot wait to share with you all my engagement pictures!! It is going to be so lit because I have my personal photographer that goes beyond my expectations, and he is also the youth pastor of our church which I love him sooooo much! Well this is it for today and I hope you all are having a great day!!

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Party? So who will you invite?

Let’s talk about invitations on who and to not invite to a party especially a wedding! I am going to be completely real with you all because I bet anyone who has gotten married, or is getting married went through this. I know tons of people that have or had this issue and they are so afraid on talking about it. So get a snack or two because this is gonna be (maybe) a long one.

Before I begin, to everyone that talked to me about this, and told me their situation this is what I would do! So let’s begin! 

Okay I get it! We all would like to invite possibly the whole world, and have the party of the year. What is the downside to this? pay attention. 

WARNING: If you feel offended by anything I will be talking about, and you are one of those people being invited to a party or want to be invited the only thing I can say is: If the shoe fits….wear it. 

FOR THE ONES THROWING A PARTY: TAKE NOTE! and I hope this helps! 

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Budget

If you are on a budget, there is a high chance your list might either increase or decrease. At the end of the day, everyone is going for the food, drinks, and entertainment. If you are lucky, they might just go for you instead of going to judge your party, gossip, and not understand why you do things the way you do. OUCH! that hurt didn’t it? However, that is the truth! So if you are throwing a party be true to yourself, and do not go overboard because at the end of the day its your choice in what you would like to have. 

Who to not invite 

As you go down the list you start with family, your friends, some friends of your parents, but then here come the unwanted people. Now who am I talking about? Let me break it down to you so read clearly. There are those type of people that automatically hit you up when they find out you are getting married, or having a birthday party. This also includes family members and old friends that might just unfriend you from social media, and then all of a sudden “friend” you again. There are those type of people where they literally invite themselves. People who never hung out with you, but love to gossip about you especially those that tell you that they expect an invitation. Even those types where you know they unfriended you, but in a text message they say; “So where is my invite?” lol! 

Here is another example, let’s say your family has friends where they think that just because they are friends with either your parents or uncles and etc….they think they are automatically invited. Do you see what I mean? Here is a big one, let’s say you are getting married but there are some that judged your relationship, never took the time to get to know your better half, and they still want to get invited. Also, those who just know you but your man/lady doesn’t even know them because those people never came around while you guys were dating. Hold on though I got more tea so keep reading!

Those type of people that are around every social media stalking your every move just to be either low key jealous, or just want to see how your party is so they can have something to talk about. I mean heck if that’s the case give them something to talk about!! Go big or go home! Wait there is more…what about shady family members? Now do not act so innocent because we all know dam well we have that type of person in our family. Those family members where they love… LOVE to talk trash about you, and want to get invited. COME ON NOW! Who cares if its an uncle, aunt, or even cousin…heck even grandparents cause if they are toxic those are the ones that should not be in the list. 

The less toxic and fake people that you have the better your day will be. Also, the less you will be spending for someone to come attend your important event. 

Who to invite

Even if you have a small list, or even a big one…make sure its all the people that have been there for you. People that you know will respect your party, the ones that will not leave your side when life gets complicated, and the ones that understand why you live the way you do. Especially respect whatever belief you might have because that also plays a big important role. Keep an eye out for those amazing people that you might take for granted, and instead of inviting them you invite the ones that are not meant to be at your party. 

Also, be sure that when you give the invitation to the person that deserves it make sure you let them know why you picked them to come to your event. Let them know how important they are to you, and especially how much they mean to you. Nothing else is better then letting him or her know how much you are blessed to them in your life. Everything is better when you have the ones that you love, the ones that are real, the ones that respect you for who you are, and the ones that never peer pressured you into anything be in your event. 

MANIPULATIVE

So let’s talk about the manipulative people out there that say, “If you don’t give me a plus 1 I will not go because I want to go with someone.” uhhhh honeyyyyy why are you going to invite them? Especially if they try to convince you that its just a close friend of theirs…like if you do not know them personally do not even think twice.

Finally

It is your party, your rules, and whatever you want to do will be perfect. If people pitch in for your event it is because they really want to so be sure they do not control you. At the end of the day, just try to have fun and make tons of memories of that day. There is no reason for you to stress on something when it should be the happiest moment of your life. If its a wedding, birthday party, bridal shower, baby shower, graduation, and etc don’t let no one try to ruin it for you because you deserve the best.

Okay now I’m done lol! If you have had or are having any of these situations I really hope you take in my advice. The less stress the better everything will turn out!!! Good luck! 

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Hellllooo!!!!!! ha!

What is up ya’ll?? It is my birthday week, and I am back!! I have been gone for a little while because I work so much now, and my times shift a lot now. There are times where I work in the mornings, and others where I work nights making me wake up super late during the day. It is always unpredictable of how my day may look like, and there are so many things that that I want you all to catch up on!!! 

Many of you know that I will be getting married soon so basically the preparations are going as planned. There are still a few things that I need to make sure that I have ready for my big day, and I am also cutting down on food so much now. It hasn’t been an easy journey because where I work there is ALWAYS something to eat. There are many times that they have all of my favorite things that it is so hard to resist, and when I say “no” to some I feel like I die a little lol! 

Also as you can finally see…I got my braces off!!!!
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This journey of 6 years is finally over, and now I can smile confident like I never did before. The only downside right now is dealing with my retainer, but that is something that I am trying to get used to. I have to take them off before I eat, and put them back on after I eat. However, before putting back my retainer I need to wash my teeth all the time. The retainers help me cut back on food because I don’t want to eat something that may stain my teeth, and then it will take me forever to wash them. The longer I have my retainer off the faster my teeth can shift, but that is exactly what I do not want which is why my retainer helps me out so much. 

Another thing is that I am already working on my music so I can upload it. I know I have been saying this since forever, but trust me it’s worth the wait. I was never confident being in front of a camera because of my braces, and now that they are off I finally feel comfortable. If you have any songs that you like make sure you let me know so I can do a cover on it. This week is kinda bitter-sweet because this is my last year in my 20s, and let me tell you it has been a roller coaster! I had my ups and downs but I am grateful for it all. I feel like this last year will be the best one yet! I have so much to look forward to, and so much to count down.

Tomorrow I will be posting something that might be an eye opener for some, and others the shoe might even fit lol!!! A lot of people get sensitive now a days, but that is because they think it’s directly to them when it really is not. lol! So how are you guys doing?? I hope all of you are having an amazing month like I am because June is literally the best month ever!! 😉 

 

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Hello mi gente

Hi…how are ya?

(cue Jeffree Star)

It has been a long…long…LONG while that I haven’t uploaded nothing on my blog, but here I am! No, I did not disappear at all I was just trying to catch up on a few things in my life which are very exciting. First off, it is refreshing to return to the blogging world as well as creating new content. I didn’t want my blog to be something that will get ya’ll bored, but rather a blog that will get you excited once you see a notification from me. 

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED

I am so excited to say that I work at Loyola hospital, which I mentioned that in one of my previous post, and also that my wedding planning is coming together. Since I started working, I had been trying to invest and save up on something that I have always dreamed of. For some it might not be the “big deal”, but keep in mind I am coming up from having “not what I dreamed of” to something that I am getting everything I ever wanted! This is all happening in less than 2 months!! 

Also, I finally got the camera I wanted, a brand new computer, and now I am in the process of getting a new phone. Is it not a big deal to some? well yes because they already have the stuff that I always wanted. However, to me is a big deal because I worked, and continue working so hard on my dream goals. To top it off, I work with the most amazing people in this universe. I am so blessed to work in an environment where I feel that I am loved, and with people that are willing to teach me more each day. 

Another thing that I am so excited about, is that I can finally do my Youtube channel, and post up my music!!!! I have a computer with an amazing software that makes my music sound as if I was in the studio. Since I love music so much, I learned how to play with the software in a matter of 2 hours. I also got a new gel kit which a co-worker of mine recommend it to me. My nails FINALLY look FLAWLESS, and I do not have to go to a nail salon anymore. If you want to know which one I use send me a message, and I will send you the picture.

 

WEDDING PLANNING

If you don’t know this yet….yes I am getting married…THIS YEAR! I am planning little by little with my Fiancé because we had been busy. However, in this whole process we have seen that it doesn’t take so much to do plan for a wedding. It actually takes such little time, but so many love to plan it 2 years before or even 1 year. The only thing is that I have’t contacted my bridesmaids yet because I am still looking for the perfect design that I want them to wear.

My colors? that will be a surprise! You will see pictures of it once the wedding day arrives, and trust me its a color that is very classy. I really love doing life with my significant other because it is finally time to get our life in one. We have been together for 5 years, and it has been a wild journey. We have overcome every single thing because we put God in the center of it all. I love how the process works with my husband to be because we literally turn everything into laughter.

If you haven’t seen yet, I started a wedding series, not so long ago, so I will link everything down below so you can follow along. I have a few topics coming up such as who to invite, how much will it be, how to have a wedding under a budget, and much more. So many questions that a lot of people ask me will finally be shared on here, and if you have any advice for me then please go ahead and share it! I am open to any advice and it would be awesome if I can feature YOU on my blog. 

THE PLAN FROM NOW ON

I used to be scared to voice my opinion on certain topics, but that won’t be the case anymore. So baby if the shoe fits…WEAR IT! I will be blogging more now because I finally have a set schedule to do everything that I wanted to do. With a new equipment, I will be able to accomplish some of my goals on this blog. If you don’t so yet, then go ahead and follow me on my social media because I will be posting a little bit more. I will try not to disappear this time.. I PROMISE! 

The day that I do have a small vacation from posting I will make sure to let you all know so you can stay updated. Let me know if you want me to talk about politics (oh man lol), beauty, motherhood (I can feature some cool moms on here), or whatever you have in mind. I am literally an open book, and trust me I do not hide my feelings at all. With that being said the following are the blogging wedding series that I started doing: 

Wedding party favors

It’s all about the music

Engaged, but what happens now?I’m ENGAGED!!!

I’m ENGAGED!!!

I will be updating so many things on here so you better keep an eye out! Make sure you are subscribed to my channel because the content that I will be posting up will have you shook! I hope you are all enjoying this month because summer is just around the corner!!

Love ya’ll. God bless. Peace.

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Some of my favorite Youtube channels

From regular tv shows to Netflix, Youtube has become one of the biggest ways to literally “watch tv” online, and for free!!! Today I want to share with you all some of my favorite channels, and please let me know what you all watch now a days. I will be updating the wedding series on my blog later on next week because I am still working on my content to give you all the best advice, and tips on how to plan a wedding stress free. If you would like to see some of the posts that I already have on here, you can click below on some of the links that I will provide. Enjoy! 

Wedding party favors

Engaged, but what happens now?

It’s all about the music

I’m ENGAGED!!!

Food you MUST try

I love searching on YouTube new things to try out, and by far there is one channel that I am obsessed!  Well, okay scratch that off there has always been one of my favorite actors, but at the same time SHE CAN SING! I am talking about the iconic Tia Mowry! Today I will be sharing with you two videos to watch, to cook, and then eventually eat! I love all the videos that she posts so what I did was to pick two random videos to share with you. I can’t just pick one so I will be linking below two videos for you to watch! Let me know if you enjoyed them and also if you tried out one of the recipes! You should check her out because literally her videos are AMAZING, but get a snack or two ready because you will be hungry by the end or middle of the video!!

 

Are you hungry? I know I am! I had to re-watch the potato skin nachos because they looks so good, and I bet they taste delicious. If you would like to share your favorite recipe, favorite YouTube channel, or something you would like to try to cook leave me a comment down below or send me a message like always. I hope you are having a great day or night depending on where ever you are in the world. 

Love ya’ll. God bless. Peace. 

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